A Maddening Letter

Dear Kid Lung

Today I rang the hardware store and ordered the components for my tumometer (not yet needed as far as I know, but I believe in being prepared).

I followed your instructions to the letter; to wit:

“Take a plank of wood at least 18m wide”

You can imagine my annoyance when I arrived home to find a plank of wood two and a half stories wide leaning against my apartment building. The porter was not impressed.

Can I suggest you review these instructions before some other innocent is thusly inconvenienced?

Yours etc.

Richly Maddened


Dear Mr. Madam

I refer to your email of yesterday addressed to our Blogger Kid Lung.

I am sorry that you feel inconvenienced by advice given by our company in good faith and at no charge and on a non-contractual unsolicited basis.

We defend the right our staff at all times to be protected from harassment and abuse. No further action will be taken on this occasion but we reserve the right to reverse action against any forthcoming eventuality in the future time period.

Yours sincerely

Kid Lung LLP
Puffing Customers First

Kid Lung Corporation

Puffing Customers First